Glossary

Corrections and suggestions welcome.
Orientation Terms: Click to enlarge, or right click and open in a new tab/window for a zoomable version.


Aesthetic Attraction - A draw to look at something or someone because it/they look nice.

Asexual - As an umbrella term, it refers to a person who rarely or never experiences primary sexual attraction. As a sub-category of the large category 'asexual', it refers to someone who never experiences primary sexual attraction. Further information can be found here.

Chosen Family - The family that one creates for themselves as an adult. Often consists of a spouse and children, but can be many more things. For further detail, see my post on family.

Emotional Attraction - The draw to become emotionally intimate with a person. Probably to talk about hopes and dreams, tell embarrassing stories from the past, and bare your feelings in exchange for the same from the other person. More.

Kinky Attraction - The draw to engage in kinky behavior with a person. More.

Parental Family - The family one grows up with. Usually consists of parents and siblings, as well as grandparents, cousins, etc.

Physical Attraction - I will never ever use this term to mean sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is a draw to be sexual (whether or not it is accompanied by an intellectual desire to act on that attraction) with the object of attraction. Physical attraction is a draw to be physical with the object of attraction. Just that. The urge to be close, perhaps to hug, to cuddle, or to hold hands.

Primary Sexual Attraction - Sexual attraction to people based on sensory information such as appearance or smell. This is the kind of sexual attraction that makes people look at strangers and go "Wow, they're hot".

Queer - My favorite umbrella term for all minority sexual orientations (and maybe also minority gender identities).

Romantic Attraction - Whoo boy, that's a can of worms. My current favorite definition is a draw toward a person just because being around them makes you happy. Not because you have good conversation (although you may), not because you get cuddles (although you may), but because their very presence pleases you.

Secondary Sexual Attraction - Not as well defined as primary sexual attraction, this is attraction based on an existing relationship with someone. It develops only alongside an emotional bond. Think of an old married couple who don't see each other as 'hot' anymore, but are still sexually attracted to each other.

Unit - A term I've taken to using to refer to my chosen family collectively; my family unit. Consists of me, Hat Guy, and Flower Lady.

1 comment:

  1. Even though historically bi- referred to two genders, the bisexual community today seems to agree to interpret it to mean attraction to two categories of gender -- their own and others -- instead. So bi- does not necessarily indicate attraction to only men and women, or to only two genders. I don't know of a good way to distinguish this from pan- and will leave that to bi- and pan- people to do.

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